April 12, 2005

On the plane

(Written in March, from Ontaria, CA to Oakland, CA)

Brian and Julie drove me to the airport and there was heavy traffic on the way here. I have never checked in so fast (there was no line) and got on a plane ever in my life! 20 minutes flat.
As we pull away from our gate I began to cry. The tears start to well up in my eye sockets and I try to hold them back. Then I look around and nobody is around me to ask why I am crying so I just let it out. My next question, as is always the case when I sporadically cry like this, is why the heck am I crying? We’re on the runway, my favorite part of any flight. As I look out the window I realize that I am leaving my hometown and will be returning as someone different. Not altogether different. A different name and title. It takes big events such as weddings to make you feel that you have grown up and are now an adult. But I am not really an adult. A whole new adventure in my life is about to begin. I have done so much in the past years that make me happy to be independent. I have made decisions regarding my life for about six years but now I am cutting any dependence I have on my parents by marrying a man, the man. How old fashioned is this? They will always carry the dependence of a phone call for advice or to talk. It is a weird feeling. I am excited, nervous, all feelings that you feel before you start a new adventure, travel to another country, or take a step in a direction you aren’t sure about but need more than anything to do. No wonder weddings are such sob fests.

I am lucky to be able to start this part of my life with this guy who is my friend and with whom I trust the world. Many new steps will be made and feelings I have never felt before. The flight, with its dips, take offs and landings, is so fun. I am so excited and can’t wait to see what is up there.

Posted by andria at April 12, 2005 09:54 PM
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